Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Late night ramblings

I sauntered out to the barn tonight. Hands shoved deep in my pockets, head down I really wasn't in to this. This wasn't the moment for an evening walk especially to the barn. I had managed to avoid the barn since Saturday and when my sick husband informed me he hadn't fed the animals tonight - right after I had dressed for bed - I wasn't feeling the love. But truly feeling sorry for his miserable state I didn't put up a fuss. I did ,however, put it off for awhile and then I headed out. I opened the door of the darkened barn and immediately headed for the hay. It was just out of habit as I have done for the past 7 yrs., but I stopped short as the sick feeling hit me -- He's gone. No whiny. No clomp clomp as I would usually hear when you knew someone opened the barn door or no loud clang as you leaned against the stall door. My barn is dead without you Luck. I knew this would be difficult, but I kept telling myself it was just the thing to do. I have so much to do and so little time I didn't want you to be neglected. But even when I couldn't ride - you were there to remind me that dreams do come true and the site of you kicking up your hooves, rolling around or just standing there in all your black beauty was good for my soul. I know you are in good, loving care and I can visit whenever I want, but I miss you.

The Story of "Luck"

Eight years ago I was in the depths and despair of infertility. Six years of infertility. Three surgeries, months of drugs, appointments, tests and a host of baby showers to attend left me at times pretty discouraged to say the least. I will interject that I never hated attending the baby showers - I really was happy for the parents. It was just emotionally draining. I was just so hoping that one day it would happen for me. It was early 1999 and I was recovering from my latest laparoscopy. The time frame for which the Dr. had given for conception to occur after the surgery had come and gone. I wasn't pregnant.

For as long as I can remember I have loved horses. I was the girl that had 101 horses in my room.- all shapes and sizes. Calendars. Pillows. Notebooks. Breyers. Whatever is was is was better if it had a horse on it. The dreams I would have.... The several times I went riding as a kid linger in my mind as if it were yesterday. My mom subscribed to Country magazine. I would eagerly take it upon arrival and look at every picture from front to back - transposing myself there - with my horse and barn.

So, I decided. I'm not going to have children - I'm going to buy a horse. I found an ad of interest. It read "registered Quarter Horse" - what I wanted. I went to see him. I fell in love with his eyes. There was just something about the eyes - I could see his heart through his eyes. I rode him and all went well and we decided it would be best if we built the barn first. The owners did tell me that someone else was interested as well, but me being me knew that if it was supposed to be he'd be mine. The next month when the paper came out I hurriedly searched the ads to see if he was still listed. To my grave disappointment he was not and I was heartsick. The following month I had a twinge of hope as I just thought I'd look and he was there! I convinced my doubting husband it was definitely a sign and wanted to go see him again. This time I took my horse savvy friend - Rena. I wanted to make sure it wasn't infatuation and get a second opinion. OK - long story somewhat shorter. I bought "Pastor's Lucky Kid" - "Lucky" aka "Luck" (Lucky is after all a puppy with black spots). We boarded him until our barn was done. I was having the time of my life - me and my dream - come - true. After one month of ownership of my dear "Luck" I found out I was pregnant with my miracle baby - Lauryn Alexis. Dreams do come true! I don't believe in luck - just in case you are wondering, but I do believe God's timing and plan are perfect. So, think what you will, but I know that God gave me Luck from a lady named Hope and just when I thought I couldn't be happier - He sent me a miracle from Heaven - and I was.

Luck is currently being leased out to my cousin Ashley - who dearly loves horses. Hopefully I'm helping a dream come true. I know they will have wonderful days together and someday I think he will come back home, but for now I'm just a little sad. I feel better for getting it all out -- thank you for letting me cry all over the keyboard.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Weekend Getaway

We headed to Tennessee after Wayne finished a busy morning at work Friday. I was - again- packed and ready to go when he pulled in the drive. Way to go - me! I may be improving, but so far from ultra-organized.

We took this trip to spend some time with my family before my cousin, Steve, leaves for Kuwait. He's in the Army and is being deployed in January. His family, parents, my family and mom all went to Pigeon Forge, Tn and stayed in a beautiful cabin. I was amazed at all the Fall color. And leaving this morning it was a balmy 62 degrees. It was a great weekend. I love this time of year. I know I have friends that I'll be sending their Christmas card to Gulf Blvd one of these days, but one of the best Christmas' was spent in the Smoky Mountains. Upon waking Christmas morning the snow was drifting down transforming the cabin and mountain to a winter wonderland! I'll take my "tender Tennessee Christmas" (and Thanksgiving) any day. I just love it here and am so glad we got to spend this Fall weekend before Thanksgiving here.

We went on a Trolley Tour of the Christmas Lights. Pancake Pantry was visited. Laser tag was enjoyed by Wayne, Lauryn and Steve. A lot of fun was had at the Track. Nightly games at the cabin were fun and Paul and June's cabin breakfast Sunday morning was a big hit. I love ya family - thanks for the memorable weekend. Steve you will stay close to our hearts while you are away.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Life after death

The death was the computer - the life that goes on is ours. Stunted as it may be we have recovered. I will be bold enough to say that it was one less thing to distract me and I could probably manage without one, but it wouldn't be a preferred method of existance. I, after entering the Blog world, have experienced a renewed and in some cases all new closeness to friends I would otherwise not be in contact with. I bank online and would hate not having that so handy. And then there is the abundant resources - shopping, research, etc. available at your fingertips. So, we have a new computer and I have returned. I am among the living, although, there are those that would consider it not living without their computer :o)

OK - I saw this email the other day about the Bible in 50 words and it is probably how I should go about letting you know what's been going on around here. We'll see how it goes - you know how wordy I like to be.

Ghost and Goblin run - fun. Lauryn's first 5k!

Fall party. Thank you Brian and Janella! We had a great time.

My "M&M" bobbing for apples.

My little pink Poodle.

Wayne shot a deer bowhunting. Way to go Wayne!

Do you see those antlers?? Well, he couldn't and what he thought was a doe ended up being a 6 pt. So now -- what you're supposed to say is -- "that's going to be some good eatin'!" :o)

Weekend trip to Pennsylvania with my mom. Enjoyable. Great Fall weather and color.

Soccer awards. Good job Lauryn!

Family in to visit - yeah!

I am so in love - just look at that face. You are a cutie - Carson!

Dog breeding. What a challenge! Meet the "stud" - Teal. He's a gentle giant.

Work. Work. Work.

School. School. School.